I have so many thoughts and they are so jumbled that this will probably not make much sense at all. But I want to get it out...
A couple months ago, when I decided that we should go "home" (my hometown) for Christmas, I told Britton that I just felt that it was something we should do while we had the time. I remembered just yesterday what I said to Britton; "You know, everyone is just not going to be around forever." Truthfully, I was thinking about Jack and Miles' grandparents and how they need to be building relationships with them. I am so grateful for that still small voice and that I listened to it.
I haven't been particularly close to my step-sisters growing up (although that is something I am trying hard to change), so I'm extremely grateful that Katalin has always been willing to reach out to me and include me in her life. When she first became pregnant, I was thrilled to get a call from her telling me all about it. She was so excited and it was impossible to be unhappy for her. All her 20 years, she has been addicted to babies, children, and animals (puppies mostly). She has the biggest heart and is probably the sweetest person you could meet, and as I'm sitting here thinking about it, I don't believe I have ever heard her speak poorly of anyone.
I am so happy that Katalin called me after every doctor's appointment to tell me how it went and how the baby was doing. I think I got to know her more through those "update" calls, than I had through all our younger years.
She and Oscar were highschool sweethearts, and I knew he was special from the first time I met him. Their love for each other was something you could feel just being around them even if they weren't standing beside each other. They have always made us feel important and appreciated and we very much enjoyed spending time with them. He is a good man and I love and admire him for who he was for her and who he is for their baby, Benjamin.
Benjamin is the sweetest baby boy. He is beautiful and healthy and growing stronger every day. We are honored to have him for a nephew.
I can't be sad for the past...she lived her life well. I am mostly sad for this empty space she has left in my life.
